battle of the sexes within the online infidelity ring!
I decided after todays tutroial to delve deeper into the concept of online cheating and to find situations of male complaints of women virtual unfaithful acts. There are endless tales of women divorcing thier husbands over cyber-affairs, but none of men divorcing women. which brings an interesting question to light, are women not engaging in these affairs?
Obviously all the realtionships men have online can't be with dirty old men pretending to be women, thus it is a given that woman are enganging in cyber-affairs, relationships, and sex. But why aren't the men filing for divorce, do men not see it as cheating? The technological tools are the same, but the response seems to be varried.
there have been several theories floating through my head; women are not at their computers as much (there is a generalisation, but a valid one that men spend more time at the computer than women), women and men have different attitudes towards cheating (is a betrayal for sex more hurtful than a betrayal for love?), do men want to spread thier cyber seed, and women want cyber-commitment for thier cyber babies? the tools raise a whole new moral question.
if it is almost real but not quite, should it still be counted?
I say yes and no. If the emotions are real, though sex, or contact is not, it still feels real. reality and beauty are thus in the eye or rather the keyboard of the beholder.
But take forexample the concept of cyber rape. I feel, as a woman it undermines the tradgey and horror of real rape, to insinuate the violation of your files even plays in the same legue as the violent and very real destruction of peoples, bodies and minds during and post rape.
are men predators online like they are thought to be in the real world???
http://handbag.com/relationships/couples/onlineinfidelity/
http://www.netaddiction.com/articles/cyberaffairs.htm
Obviously all the realtionships men have online can't be with dirty old men pretending to be women, thus it is a given that woman are enganging in cyber-affairs, relationships, and sex. But why aren't the men filing for divorce, do men not see it as cheating? The technological tools are the same, but the response seems to be varried.
there have been several theories floating through my head; women are not at their computers as much (there is a generalisation, but a valid one that men spend more time at the computer than women), women and men have different attitudes towards cheating (is a betrayal for sex more hurtful than a betrayal for love?), do men want to spread thier cyber seed, and women want cyber-commitment for thier cyber babies? the tools raise a whole new moral question.
if it is almost real but not quite, should it still be counted?
I say yes and no. If the emotions are real, though sex, or contact is not, it still feels real. reality and beauty are thus in the eye or rather the keyboard of the beholder.
But take forexample the concept of cyber rape. I feel, as a woman it undermines the tradgey and horror of real rape, to insinuate the violation of your files even plays in the same legue as the violent and very real destruction of peoples, bodies and minds during and post rape.
are men predators online like they are thought to be in the real world???
http://handbag.com/relationships/couples/onlineinfidelity/
http://www.netaddiction.com/articles/cyberaffairs.htm
posted by Casey Fenton at 9:57 PM
3 Comments:
Luke or Kevin;
I have sent you both an email asking if you could please send me an invite to join the blog but I haven't received a response.
I really would like to get one.
My email is
radio.zumbi@gmail.com
In response to your post Casey:
Speaking from personal experience, and trying my best not to generalise; but if a girl gets involved in an affair, she will tend to become emotionally attached to her lover. On the otherhand men tend to just have something more physical when it comes to affairs.
What I am trying to say is that women are more sensitive to emotional attachment, so if a woman knows that her husband is having an affair which is more emotional than physical this may be much more hurtful than if he just had a more physical relationship (regardles of the consequences).
In conclusion, I would say the same as I said in the tutorial, if you will have any kind of affair, be it on the cyber world, cyber cafe, cyber pub, etc. Keep it a secret because at the end of the day is just like we say in Bolivia: "ojos que no ven, corazon que no siente" (rough translation, eyes that do not see heart that does not feel).
Julio Panoff
www.radiozumbi.blogspot.com
Julio Panoff
IDno 3608214
I completely agree with what Casey has said about online rape. On p.242 of Turkles article, she mentioned the 21 year old college student who would RATHER rape on a MUD because there is no harm done. Note the word rather? It should not be okay for someone to practise such an offense and im disappointed that MUDs seem to offer a realm in which to do so. Personally im suprised he admits this perverted hobby. Raping online? By doing this he is familiarising himself with the technique, the feelings that go into it, the outcome etc. He's all geared up for the real deal. Surely if you are continually raping online you would become desensitised to it? Therefore, it wouldnt take a monster to rape someone in real life, it would just take someone who had practised enough online to be able to deal with the emotional burden?
Why would you want to fake-rape? Surely someone as psychotic as this could mistake the real world for a MUD and attack people?
Maddy Simpson
Julio - sorry about that! I can't find the email you sent me. Anyway, the invite has now been sent. And just to play devil's advocate... Women get more emotionally involved than men, who tend to see things in a more physical way? Could this be a great myth that many men (and indeed many women) like to perpetuate? Women may find it easier to admit to emotional attachments, men to the physical (and vice-versa) but is that necessarily what's going on under the surface?
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